Blueberry Cheesecake Flavored
by VictoriousPeople
Summary: - definitely not a story about blueberry cheesecake. One-shot. AU. #ssmonth - day 20: My Mistake


**Blueberry Cheesecake Flavored**

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"Uh…"

"_Okay so…They have…Edible panties? Do you think Naruto likes strawberry flavored plastic? Nuh-uh. Fuck this shit! At this rate we'll nev- Excuse me, old man? Why is this…thing moving?"_

"Oh my God, Ino! Just…Just pick something!"

"_Chill Forehead, I can practically hear you blush over the phone."_

"I'm so not blushing!" the pink haired girl murmured pulling the hood of her sweatshirt over her head. "Can you please hurry up?"

"_Can you please stop being a prude?"_

Sakura huffed in annoyance.

"_Listen Haruno, it's Hinata's twenty-first birthday and our present has to be bomb! Understand?"_

"Actually, I don't understand! What's so bomb about a bunch of sex toys?" Sakura hissed annoyed as she strolled through the sweets section of her local drugstore. "The only thing we're going to achieve with that kind of present is making Hinata-chan super embarrassed in front of all of our friends!" She picked up a pack of blueberry cheesecake flavored pocky and moved on to the next section - the one she pointedly avoided for the past forty-five minutes.

"_She doesn't have to open the present in front of the others, Forehead. But she should definitely open it in front of a certain loudmouthed blonde!" _ Sakura rolled her eyes upon hearing her best friend's wicked chuckle. _"It's about damned time she loses that fucking virginity of hers."_ A bizarre purring sound came from the other end of the line and Sakura's eyebrows knitted in confusion. _"Hey, old man! Add this to my cart!" _

"_Do I need…to show you how to use it, Ino-chan?"_

"_Oh God, Jiraiya! Fuck off already!"_

Sakura shivered involuntarily "Disgusting."

"_But Ino-chan-"_

"_Shut up geezer and help me lift this shit! I'll buy that, too!"_

_If she continues like that my entire allowance will be gone _Sakura thought gloomily. In one swift movement she pushed aside a wide variety of female hygiene products, and poked her head between the shelves trying not to cringe at the sight before her. _Did they really have to name it 'Sexual Wellness'?_

"I feel like a creep."

"_That's because you are one!" _Ino snickered. _"Seriously, if I had known that buying some condoms and lube would make you that uncomfortable, I would've asked Ten Ten for help!"_

"It's a little late for that, isn't it?" Sakura bit out rather miffed as she pulled her hood even further down her face "Why can't you buy them? You're at a sex-shop anyway!"

"_Because" _Ino sighed_ "they're so overpriced here!" _Sakura heard something rustle _"Look, a three-pack of blueberry cheesecake flavored condoms is like 1,586 yen!"_

The pink haired girl looked at the pack of biscuit sticks in her basket. _Blueberry cheesecake flavored._

"I think I might throw up."

"_What did you say Forehead? Oh for…What the fuck, Jiraiya?! The exotic flavored ones are even pricier! " _

"_That's business, Piggy-chan."_

"_What did you call me?!" _

"He's so disgusting!" the pink haired girl could feel the bile rising in her throat. Jade orbs thoroughly scanned the aisles as Sakura slowly, stealthily made her way towards the 'Sexual Wellness' department.

"Her pleasure…super thin…Ribbed? Huh? Well, well…Pre-lubed? Eh? Hmm…" Sakura's fingers danced across the various packages of condoms on the shelf in front of her until her eyes met the sight of a little dark blue package. "Blueberry…Cheese…Cake." _Ew._

"_Eh? Yes! Forehead, take those!"_

"But…What size? I mean…What if I buy a bigger size and…Naruto…isn't that big?"

"_That's what she said!"_

"Jiraiya!" Sakura screamed into her phone attracting the attention of a few customers nearby. _Just great! _She could feel the heat creep up her neck and cheeks. "Pig! Did you put me on speaker?"

"_Uh… No? Look, just grab those condoms, some fancy lube and get the hell out of there you fucking virgin!"_

_Virgin..._

_Virgin._

Sakura froze.

_So that's what I forgot to tell her._

"Ino" Sakura called out, her voice nothing but a whisper "About me being a virgin, I… I have something to tell you."

* * *

She could feel the beat vibrate through her entire body, shaking every cell of her being like a fierce earthquake, and yet she couldn't find it in her to let go and lose herself to the music. She looked around not really seeing anything, not bothering to strain her eyes to fight the blinding strobe lights. She felt Hinata put her cheek against hers, shouting words Sakura could barely hear - words she did not recognize. She put a hand atop of the black haired girl's head and pulled her closer, her lips brushing against Hinata's ear. She could feel the warmth of Hinata's blush on her cheeks and smiled the first genuine smile of the night. "I'll go catch some fresh air, okay?" she shouted into her ear, knowing full well that she hurt the poor girl's eardrums. Hinata pulled back and nodded at the pink haired girl, smiling her infectious Hinata-smile as large hands appeared in front of her, covering her pale violet eyes. Her small hands came up to grab the larger ones, her smile widening. A tipsy Naruto emerged from behind Hinata's back and winked at Sakura, calloused hands still hiding lilac eyes. The pink haired girl just shook her head in return and lazily waved goodbye at the couple in front of her.

Sakura never felt so out of place in a club as she pushed forcefully through damp bodies moving to the rhythm of a song Sakura never heard before. _I swear this crowd has no end! Where's the damn exit anyway?_ She stopped for a moment vigorously brushing pink strands out of her face, contemplating her next move. "How do I get out of here?" she screamed fisting her hands in her tousled pink hair, but her words were drowned out by the ungodly loud music. She closed her eyes in frustration and breathed in deeply to calm her slowly fraying nerves. To her chagrin the stifling, hot air entering her lungs did nothing to relieve her from the tension that had gradually build up inside her over the last few minutes. Just as she was about to give up, she felt an arm sneak around her shoulders, embracing her. She managed to bite out a curt "What?" before the person beside her pushed her forward in a rather brusque manner. She looked to her side only to have her view obscured by her own hair. _Struggling is useless _she thought disappointed as the person beside her – a man, she noted – tightened his grip around her left arm and pulled her closer to his body. _He's at least a head taller than me, and it's too crowded to move properly. _She grit her teeth in anger. "You better be on your way towards the exit motherfucker, or I'll beat you to pulp!" she roared, hands clenching and unclenching at her sides, eyes fixed on the floor. _He probably didn't even hear me, ah fuck._

She didn't like it; she didn't like it at all. If there was something that Haruno Sakura hated it was the feeling of helplessness. She could feel panic bubble up inside her causing shivers to run up and down her spine. She could feel her heart beating irregularly in her chest and she reprimanded herself for losing her cool in such a situation. _Sakura! You're not twelve anymore! You're a grown ass woman, so get yourself together!_ She bit down hard on her lower lip as she noticed that her thoughts did nothing to calm down her body and she cursed her hands for shaking so much. To her surprise the stranger stopped and Sakura dared to look up. "Sa-Sasuke-kun?" she stuttered as her eyes met his dark ones. His gaze wandered above her head and for the first time since they stopped Sakura dared to look at her surroundings. _We're…we're outside, but…_

"Sakura?"

Jade found onyx again and she watched Sasuke as he slowly reached out towards her. She jumped at the feeling of his arms around her waist and his chin on her right shoulder. "Sakura" he breathed as he buried his face in her tangled hair. He brought his lips to her ear tightening his hold around her "Bury your hands in my hair."

"What?" she hissed overcoming the initial shock caused by the close contact with the guy she loved since-only-god-knows-when. "Please" he sighed "bury them in my hair or…or whatever you please. Just…touch me, okay?" She did as she was told and fisted her hands in his disheveled raven hair, but she couldn't help but wonder what kind of drugs the usually impassive Uchiha was currently on.

"Listen" he said snapping Sakura out of her thoughts "Uzumaki Karin has been following me for the whole night. I said that I don't want anything from her, I tried running away from her, and I even spilled my drink on her! For God's sake it was cranberry vodka and she's wearing a white dress! She will never wash that shit out" he cried quietly and Sakura had to suppress a chuckle. "I couldn't shake her of so I…I told her that you're my girlfriend."

"And she still won't leave you alone?" Sakura whispered shakily trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach and failing miserably. _God, he's too close, he's just too close!_

"She's watching us right this moment. I swear this woman's a creep."

Sasuke shifted, tightening his embrace around her even more, and Sakura quietly wondered how much closer his body could get to hers before she passed out from his rousing scent.

"I swear if she doesn't vanish in the next thirty minutes I'll lose my mind" he moaned and Sakura couldn't help but giggle.

"How can I help Sasuke-kun?"

The Uchiha loosened his grip around her and Sakura almost regretted saying anything. Almost. She watched as he brought his forehead to hers, a strand of silky, pink hair trapped between his long, slender fingers. Sakura's breath hitched as he looked at her with smoldering eyes, reminding her of hundreds and hundreds of fantasies - involving said eyes and dark blue sheets - that kept her company on lonely nights.

"Shall we go to your place…" his deep, velvety voice proposed "or mine?"

* * *

"Is she still following us?" Sakura asked quietly into the night. They had tried everything to shake her off, but it turned out that, yes, Uzumaki Karin was a tough cookie. A lot tougher than Sakura expected her to be. _I'm running out of secret shortcuts_ the pink haired girl thought sullenly as they took the last shortcut through a park to her apartment.

Sasuke's eyes darted in several directions before spotting the all-too-familiar flash of red. "She's determined I'll give her that!" he said irritated. Sakura laughed quietly leaning into Sasuke's side. Pretending to be his girlfriend had its good sides, she had to admit. "Thank you, Sakura" he said and placed a soft kiss on her temple. _This is for show, only show _she thought, but her thoughts were drowned out by the excited thumping of her heart. "And…if she ever comes to stalk your place, just call me! I'll protect you." He brought their entwined hands to his lips and adorned her fingers with the fleeting feeling of butterfly kisses. _Is he trying to kill me?_

"Who knew, Uchiha Sasuke can be a sweet human being after all" she teased.

"Hey, I'm not just an emotionless bastard" he said coming to a halt under one of the few lanterns that illuminated the park "most of the time…"

"Oh really?" she mocked taking a few steps away from him. "And here I was thinking that I am the only one who's allowed to see your sweet side because I'm your most precious person" she finished off her sentence with an overly dramatic sigh. Seeing his serious expression she added a murmured "just kidding" and resumed to her previous place to his right. They continued walking in silence and Sakura felt like screaming. _Everything was perfect before you had to ruin it Haruno!_

"You are" she suddenly heard him whisper quietly and wondered if she had imagined it. "You are…my most precious person" he said again, facing her.

"Sasuke-kun, I…"

A loud rumbling sound made both of them jump and Sakura almost burst out laughing at the sight of the mighty Uchiha Sasuke…blushing like a school girl. "I…uh…I'm kind of hungry…since I was chased by Karin and all…" he stuttered holding his folded arms over his stomach. "I ruined the moment, didn't I?"

"Not at all" she giggled and pulled out a small box out of her purse. "I know you don't like sweets but, that's the only edible thing I have in there." Sakura watched as his face lit up and he ran his hands through his hair. "There goes my stoic image" he said chuckling as he pulled out a pocky from the box.

"Then…let's ruin it even further, shall we?" she asked playfully and took the small biscuit out of his hand. "Sasuke-kun, say ah!"

The Uchiha did as he was told and looked down at Sakura who stared right back at him, mirth sparkling in her green eyes.

"Oh my God, Sasuke-kun! You're a masochist!" Sakura laughed.

"Am not!" he said taking a bite.

"Yes you are! Look, when something is presented to you - if you look down you're a masochist, but if you look up you're a sadist."

Sasuke took the rest of the pocky from Sakura's hand and shoved it into his mouth. "I call this bullshit" he said, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

"Prove it, Uke-kun!" she said in a sing-song voice and started running away from him.

"Oh you're going down Haruno!" he growled.

"Catch me if y-" Sakura couldn't even finish her sentence before Sasuke grabbed her by the wrist and spun her around. "Uke-kun, huh?" he said and pressed his lips to hers. Sakura's mind began to spin wildly and she felt as if her legs would give out under her weight any minute now, but she didn't care. All she cared about was the man holding her and his blueberry cheesecake flavored lips.

* * *

_"So you had sex in the park, did I get that right?"_ Jiraiya asked on the other side of the line.

_"No, no old pervert! They had sex in her apartment, but they kissed in the park!"_

_"Ah, I see, I see. Okay, but that won't cut it. Let's just say they had sex on a bench and Karin was watching! Oh, the next volume of 'Come, come paradise' will sell like hotcakes I already see it!"_

_"Yeah, Sakura whatever happened to Karin, did-"_

Sakura ended the call, white hot anger coursing through her veins. "The nerve" she barked and stuffed a couple of condom-boxes and lube-tubes into her basket. Why Ino put her on speaker again, even though that old bastard was there, was beyond Sakura. _Now Kakashi-sensei is going to read about my first time, oh God!_

"Good day Ugly!"

_Oh no._

"Good day to you too, Sai!"

_Open up earth, swallow me whole! Come on!_

"If I may be so rude-"

"You may not!"

"- and point out the wide, colorful variety of contraceptives you have there. Judging by that, do you plan on having intercourse with Uchiha-san again?"

"God damn it, Sai!" Sasuke pressed through gritted teeth, the urge to strangle his co-worker growing rapidly "I told you to not talk about it!"

"Oh!" Sai said, eerie smile plastered on his face. "My mistake."

"Y- You told him?" Sakura asked looking away from the youngest Uchiha.

"I'm sorry" he whispered, a faint roseate color tinting his cheeks.

"That'd be 4,490.68 yen" Sai said oblivious to the tense atmosphere he had created just mere seconds ago "And, if I may add" he said looking at a fuming Sakura "Pocky don't make very good dildos."

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**A/N: **OOC Sauce is my 2nd favorite Sauce.

Oh God it's past 01:00 a.m. here. I'm super tired and I don't have the energy to review this gem. So if you notice any mistakes please correct me! Thanks! (English is not my native language - old readers know the drill yadda, yadda.)

I wanted to be in time for day 20 of ssmonth but I failed in my time zone. /bawl

BUT it's still the 20th of July in the wonderful state of California so fuck y'all I did make it! uwu

Happy sasusaku month bitches.

Gotta love Sai tho.


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